In terms of gifts, resources, and time, your are far more given than the other, but you are there in a corner hiding and full of fear. You will not stand because you crave for perfection.
You are waiting and waiting for that non-existing perfect timing, when you are perfectly ready, so that forgetful, imperfect people will applaud you greatly. You keep wandering why when you look at your friend who has less gifts, less resources, and less time standing there in front of the crowd, although trembling with difficulty and imperfection can become so ahead of you and almost standing on your dream and even you could not help but admire him.
You keep saying that this time I will stand low beside my friend and together move toward that light that so long together we dreamed. So you stood up and dressed up, but while the time is ticking, something deep inside you is saying, the heavens are dark and heavy, may it rain so I can go back to my safety corner and wait for the time when I am perfectly ready and better.
On the other hand your friend, already on a jacket and so awkwardly carrying an umbrella ready to traverse and make war with the rain.
You are not a safety corner!? You are a prison, a ball and chain! So long have I been attached to you that you became so comfortable and detachment will definitely cause fear and great pain.
So that night deep inside, you were glad for it did rain, but you where dressed up and all gears ready cause you are quite uncertain what really the rain is saying. Is it really saying it’s not the right time, go back to the corner and keep practicing? No! That night I wanted to find out. I just really wanted to find out.
I cannot hold an umbrella, ’cause a bike I will be driving, so I made a decision. I will stand in front of that crowd, even if all over the stage I’d be dripping.
Thus I went out into the open rain, and from that night on, from that cold night on, I never again backed out from a simple rain, for that night when I decided to face the rain, those silver glitters falling from heaven did nothing but stayed a little while, kissed me and left saying “you are! You are resolved for the dream.”
artwork and words: nersønangelø (written life – 5)